VIETNAM’S BATTLEFIELDS: TRAPPED BETWEEN YESTERDAY AND TOMORROW

As injury and death became my companions, I began to think about what mattered. But thinking didn’t help. I determined the future was a trick, a lie. It didn’t make sense to wonder what came next, not when all we had was the now. The now was all we could hold. The past was gone, the future a fog, and the now was just a fleeting thing. It wasn’t real — a thin shadow between what was and what would be.

The enemy didn’t follow the typical rules of engagement. They were ghosts. Always somewhere but hidden until the ambush. We tried to plan and keep our heads, but it was all just an act in the theater: every day, another scene. In the end, success didn’t mean what it should. It didn’t tell you if you made it home safe. It didn’t mean you didn’t bleed out or die on some stretch of jungle dirt. We performed as our orders dictated, got the job done, and hoped for the best outcome. Some of us did come back. But far too many didn’t. Over fifty-eight thousand died, and another hundred and fifty thousand suffered injuries and became marked for life.

We had our training and experience, but it wasn’t enough. No matter what I chose or how hard I tried, it always went wrong. Still, I kept thinking if the mind believed it, the body would follow. If I kept that thought, I could somehow pull something out of the mess and find a way…